Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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