How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
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