My Higher Power is John Stamos
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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