I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
