I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
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