Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Someone came in the potted fern
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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