garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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