look no pants
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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