how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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