i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
