We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize