youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
