I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
