College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
