pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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