Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
