i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
