yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
