I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
