So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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