i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize