I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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