I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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