So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
