i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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