She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
