A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
