I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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