I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He passed out mid-signature
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
