we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
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