the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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