batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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