thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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