I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
He did a backflip because drugs
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