You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Randomize
