Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
so much tequila, so little girl.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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