one might say we're banned from that church
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
