mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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