do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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