Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I don't deserve a penis
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
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