i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Randomize
