please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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