I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
