Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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