I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I just found puke in my bra..
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
