I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I got a message the other day that just said “great titsâ€
A gentleman AND a scholar
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
