I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
