Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
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