my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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