why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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