bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize