I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
