No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
