Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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