hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
