it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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