the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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