Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
